Weight of the World

So I have been thinking about some of the reasons that I eat and I do think that I eat more when I am stressed or sad. For the most part I think that I handle stress pretty well but sometimes things really get to me. Even when it isn't my burden to carry I do.

A perfect example....The other night I was on Facebook and saw a post regarding the health of my brother's grandma and her being put into hospice. I only have one half brother and due to circumstances in our childhood I was raised by my mother's parents and my brother was raised by a mixture of people. He lived with my mom, his dad, his great grandma and his grandma. He was very close to her. In all honesty, I didn't even real know her but I was so saddened by the thought of my brother's grief. He was unable to see her the past five years and was not able to say goodbye in person, it also looks like he may be unable to attend her funeral. Being raised by my grandparents and knowing how close I am them I could not imagine being in that place and my heart ached for him. I actually cried tears for him. Right at that moment I wanted to drown myself in calories, especially ones with sugar or chocolate. I refrained but it made me learn something about myself.

My grandpa always says that you cant worry about the things that you cant change, my problem is that I always think that I can change them. What I need to do is change myself and quit worrying about everyone else. Dont get me wrong, I dont want to quit being compassionate but I have my own problems to take care of.

So glad to be finally on my path to taking care of this one. The other night I did 75 minutes on the treadmill. It felt really good to be accomplishing something. Just trying to be good this week and stay within my points.