The Whole Package

Even though I was and still am overweight I always did pride myself on trying to continue to have a fun hair cut and good make up. I used to say that when all you had left was your face you better at least make sure that it looked good. We have all heard the saying "I'm fat, you're ugly...I can lose weight". I never really felt ugly I just felt disgusted with my body and thought that my weight was all that people could see. My face got rounder and it was harder to find hair styles that didn't accentuate it worse. Also there was someone on the inside. I have always been pretty confident about myself and I felt like I really couldn't shine in that shell.

I hate to admit it but my while I did my hair and make up I let other things go. I didn't really care how I dressed because I could never find any cute clothes and I didn't really want to shop at stores like Lane Byrant or Torrid; always in denial that I needed to go to those stores. I settled for clothes at Walmart and Target. Now don't get me wrong....I still love Target and I find really cute things at Walmart sometimes too. But seriously it was my whole wardrobe. I had friends that shopped at stores like TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Down East Outfitters and other discount stores and found the cutest stuff. Yet as I scoured the clothing racks all the cute stuff was for thin people (mostly size 10 and under, some size 12 and under) and the only things in my size were huge moo-moo dresses and old lady grandma suits.

I was not good at taking care of my skin either. I washed my face with a baby wipe and rarely put lotion on my legs or arms. I didn't care that my legs looked like alligator skin; I was never going to be wearing a bathing suit or shorts anyway. Speaking of my legs, there were also points that I went weeks without shaving them. This is where you can all be like...yuck! I promise that I still shaved my pits every day. Lol. :) But seriously, I just didn't really care.

As I lose the weight it is interesting that subconsciously I have started to take better care of myself all together. I haven't even really thought about it, it just has happened. I think when you feel better about yourself you put in more effort. This summer I have been shaving my legs almost every day, applying my gradual tan lotion to my legs, soaking my skin up with moisturizers, and following my skin cleansing regimen on my face. I haven't been scared to put on my swim suit and lay out and get a little sun, yet I always wear 30 spf sunscreen to help prevent skin cancer, I have to brag that I am a pretty nice bronze color these days.

I am all together feeling better about me. Putting the whole package together. These are the things that other people may not notice, I know you weren't feeling my prickly, dry legs....but I notice. I am sure that Travis probably notices too. He truly is the greatest and knows how to love unconditionally . He loved me just as much when I was 252 pounds barefoot and pregnant with unshaved legs. He deserves more though...it has been fun to get my gravy back! I have been discouraged a little that this journey has taken me a little longer than I thought. I have been working on it for a year now but today as I was getting ready I was grateful that it has been gradual. I think by losing weight this way it will be a permanent, lifestyle change. It has also allowed me to get in better shape and build muscle. I think that when I do get to my goal weight I will look a lot better than if I had just lost the weight quickly from starving myself and losing muscle in the process. It has helped prevent lots of extra sagging skin, so far I don't have that so I am hoping that my skin continues to shrink with me, thankfully it still has some elasticity to it.

Here is to feeling great and looking great...it is a long journey, but I will see the finish!