It was a downward spiral. I had two social events, I had a packed weekend where I hadn't prepared and planned exactly everything for the next week, Travis was harassing me about having no carbs and my energy was depleted. I almost felt like I got depression for a couple of days. Everyday at 2:00 I would get so tired that I just wanted to go to bed and cry. The good thing is that my kids both take naps around this time so somedays it was doable. Hudson hates taking naps so he kept telling me "get out of bed mom, its a beautiful day". It gave me sad memories of asking my own mom to get out of bed on the weekends when I would visit. My mom is a sleeper and when she doesn't feel well a little sleep can do her a lot of good. I hated it as a kid though. I felt bad telling Hudson that he just needed to watch a movie and let mommy sleep. We have also been doing tons of home improvement projects. We have spent countless hours in the hot sun; staining our deck, power washing, pruning, removing plants, washing windows, etc. It is so hard to come in from outside and want to eat a hot chicken breast!
So, now after a week of eating delicious carbs, what to do now? Try again? I am pretty sure that I gained a pound last week. Pretty upsetting. The clock is ticking! The family reunion is coming soon. I know that everyone will be surprised and happy for me just due to the amount that I have lost but I really wanted to be in the 150s. Well actually I wanted to be 150. Now I would settle for 159.
The rest of this week is pretty crazy too! We are in the middle of refinancing our house and the appraiser will be here tomorrow. The good part is that we are getting a 15 year loan and 3.7% interest! Woo hoo. It really pays to have good credit. I have to brag for just a quick minute that both Travis and I entered into the over 800 FICO score. This feels good to start getting our house paid off sooner. Anywho..this means that today and tomorrow I will be picking up the house (extra good). I also have my hip hop aerobics class today and the kids to tend to. Wednesday evening I also have a CPR class to teach since my employee is on a cruise this week. Boo. Thursday the kids and I are headed to splash country with our neighbor. Hudson loves it! He is such a dare devil and there are so many fun things to do there. Friday I have to get us all packed for a camping trip to Cumberland State Falls in Kentucky. Travis is getting off early on Friday and we plan to spend the weekend there.
While most of these activities are fun; they still all take a lot of work and planning. It just makes strict dieting very hard. I am not sure what to do. As I said before, I know my exercise is not really the problem. I work out more now than I have since I was in high school. It is just the little things that get to me. I swear that eat pretty healthy 90% of the time. You would think that I could correct that last 10% right? Why is it so hard?? Will I ever see my goal?
I feel SO bad that you are beating yourself up! YOU ARE AMAZING is what you are!! I've always looked up to you and marveled all that you get done in one day. I think that I am organized with things, but then there is YOU who runs circles around me.
ReplyDeleteYou are the world's best mom to your kids, you are an awesome friend to everyone you know, you throw the best parties, you are always SO thoughtful to others. You really are wonderful so you need to sit and count all of the many things you do RIGHT everyday.
I think having a deadline is either a good OR a bad thing and in your case I think it's bad. It's great to set goals, but you also have to realize that life happens as well. WOW to all of the progress you had made. Those last 20 pounds are always the hardest. Besides, you want to lose weight and then keep it off and so this last little bit will probably be the most challenging of all.
Planning life is SO much work, especially when you are trying to eat healthy, cook everything from scratch and deal with kids, interruptions, parties, etc... I wish you the best of luck and KUDOS to refinancing your house for 15 years! I bet that feels SO good to be on the downhill of becoming debt free. We are down to 5 more years and then ours is paid for...it's going to feel so good.
Let me know what I can help with for Clair and Josie's party. I would love to help and do whatever I can!!!!!