“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.”

This week has been a crazy week and ended today with us cleaning out the garage. My grandparents are on vacation so we asked if we could borrow their truck so we could take a load to the dump and a load to the church for the rummage sale. We picked it up Thursday night and this morning we woke up ready to conquer. Our garage was full of rubbermaid boxes. Most of them we had not even opened since we moved and I decided that if we havent looked at them in that long then it was ready to throw some stuff out. So one by one we opened them looking to see what was inside and to decide what was garbage and what we would donate and what we wanted to keep. In the end we have kept about 1/4 of the stuff. It felt good to clean out.

Through our cleaning though we also got a chance to go thru memory lane. We sorted thru and threw out trophies from junior high sports, dance costumes, clothes that I have been hanging on to, Travis's notebooks filled with ideas from other jobs, college homework, text books, pictures, etc. The funniest was how many notebooks I found of my own with my plans to start another diet, or journals where I tracked my calories, weight loss books and motivational photos. It made me realize when one of them was dated 2002, that I have been struggling with this for too long. It has to change. We tossed a lot of stuff. I am never going to have a trophy cabinet in my house to display my jr. high school cheerleading trophy so why keep it. I kept the biggest one and tossed the rest.

It feels good to clean out things, to get a fresh start. A few nights ago Travis and I were talking about how our dog Lizzy had been such a huge part of our life and now that she is gone we feel like a chapter of our book is now closed. Today cleaning out the garage I felt that way too as we threw out a lot of our past. It has now been over 10 years that I have struggled with my weight and this chapter of life is going to close as well. It has too in order for me to be healthy. This week was very hard in many different aspects but the old is gone and we are starting a fresh new chapter of life. My newest chapter is going to be Happy & Healthy.

I started out by telling very few people about my blog as I was insecure and didn't want to fail or for people to know where I started. This week I have already became more confident and told five more people. I think as the weeks go on and the weight loss continues I will continue to tell even more. Thank you all for your love and support this week and always!

Say No to the Caramelized Pecans

So I knew that yesterday I had a lunch date with one of my girlfriends so I ate a light breakfast in order to save some points for lunch. I decided on the strawberry salad. It was greens and spinach with a small chicken breast, strawberries, blue cheese and caramelized pecans. I asked for balsamic vinaigrette on the side. God must have been watching out for me because the restaurant that we chose, Lakeside Tavern, has the best sourdough bread in the county. I love their bread, it is so yummy! When we got there the waiter came up to us and said, "sorry we are out of bread, it will be about 10 minutes". I quickly responded with "Just dont bring it out, none for me". So proud of myself. My poor friend Maggie, a follower of my blog, declined the bread as well. I think she was a little sad about it since she thinks it is the best bread too but she was supportive and didn't eat it in front of me. Thanks Maggie!

So when I got home I tallied up my points. Greens, strawberries, 1TBSP blue cheese...no big deal. Then I added the caramelized pecans. Whoa!! 10 points. Ouch. Anyway for future reference I could of skipped the pecans and had two pieces of bread. Darn it. Even though they were high point value I know that is was mostly because of the fat in the nuts and at least the fat in nuts are the good fats. The sugar coating on the nuts was probably not so good. :) Next time I will definitely hold the pecans and probably the bread too!

I am doing good. Not feeling deprived and the blog is really helping. I feel like I can't let you all down. The big weekly weigh-in is tomorrow!

Couch Potato to 5K

So if you have been reading my blog you may have seen that one of my goals is to run a 5K. Well, my friend Amanda called me last night and told me about this application she downloaded for her i-phone. It was called C25K (Couch potato to 5K), it is a 3 day a week, 9 week program that prepares you for a 5K, even if you are starting as a couch potato. It is intervals of walking and running with audio prompts telling you when to do what. She said it was awesome and that I should get it. So, I did.

I am going to continue to walk my 3.0 for 45 minutes certain days and then do this this 3 day a week program for the other days. It is progressive and gets harder every week. Now I just need to find a 5K. The problem is that in 9 weeks it will be July and I am not running a 5K in TN in July. I either need to find one in Idaho and go for a trip or it will have to wait until October!

I am excited to see how it goes. I will keep you posted. For those of you with I-phones you might check it out. It is $2.99 for the app. If you are interested in doing a 5K with me, let me know!

A New Day

Well, I am feeling kind of guilty about already not sticking to one of my new goals, to exercise everyday. Yesterday was a very hard day and I just didn't have it in me but I am proud that I didn't deal with my emotional distress with chocolate. I do think I cried at least a pound of tears...does that count for anything? Putting Lizzy down was one of the hardest things I have done but I know that it was the right decision even though it was a very hard one.

Today is a new day. The baby slept for a 7 hr stretch last night, Hudson went to preschool this morning, and I am up early and ready to watch Jillian kick some butt while I spend some quality time with the treadmill. I really need to drink more water. Some days I drink 2 gallons and some days I am lucky to get in 8oz. I'm pretty hooked on the raspberry lemonade Crystal Lite, flavors up the water and makes it more tolerable without adding calories. I am pretty excited for this weeks weigh in. I know I am only supposed to get on the scale once a week but I accidentally stepped on last night. I shall have good news to report on Sunday :) I am just waiting for that plateau to hit though. That is when I will need you all! That is when I will want to quit. Week 3 or 4 when you only lose 1 pound, lose nothing or even worse gain a pound. I know that it will come and I am just going to have to push through it.

I talked to one of my dearest childhood friends the other night. She has done weight watchers in the past and gave me some good ideas for some easy low point meals. She also gave me the best quote "Nothing tastes as good as skinny"; that is going to be my new mantra. We talked for quite sometime about Lizzy and my new lifestyle changes. I am always trying to figure out if there is an underlying mental reason for my weight gain, so who better to talk to than your friend with a counseling degree. She always listens and tells me a few things I don't want to hear but it always feels good to be able to lay it all out on the table, show someone you're vulnerable and just be honest with them and yourself.

After I got off the phone, I realized how thankful I am to have good friends. For those that know me, you know I am social butterfly and I quickly become acquainted with people. I have hundreds maybe even thousands of acquaintances or what I call short term friends. Short term friends are those friends that you have and love but then you move away or life changes, you dont stay in touch and life just moves on. Truly I have less than a dozen good friends but how thankful I am to have them. You should know who you are...if you are aware of this blog you are probably one of them. :) While I love you all, I have to say that I am especially thankful for my two friends that I have had the longest, Jenn and Jordan. I have been friends with both of them since elementary school. Sometimes I wonder if I met them on the street today if we would even be friends. We have know each other so long, have so much history together and our families all know each other, that they aren't just friends but family. I hope that each of you have people like this in your life. People that know all your good and your bad, a friend you can be honest with, and a person that you know will always be there. The best part about my two friends is that they are both good listeners...this is good...because I am a talker. For now, It also helps that they have both done weight watchers in the past, they actively exercise and are willing to hold me accountable :)

Take time to think about who your true friends are. If it has been a while since you talked to one of them, pick up the phone and tell them that you are grateful to have them. Friends are our chosen family. I can't forget to mention my very best friend, Travis, my husband. We have been together thru thick and thin for almost 14 years now. How wonderful it is to have the person that you share your life with as your ultimate best friend and support system.

Lots of Emotion

Well, there is lots of emotion going on in my mind today. Last night we decided that we would have to put our dog to sleep. This was a very hard decision as she seems perfectly healthy other than the fact that her hips are so bad. She has gotten to the point that she can't even walk. I knew that today would be my last day with her so I went to spend some time with her. I think I cried at least hourly. We have lots of memories with her and it was really hard to not drown my sorrows in food BUT I DIDNT. I wanted to but I knew I would regret it later. So instead of eating, I am deciding to work out and get my emotions out on the treadmill.

Lizzy was a good dog. She was our baby for several years. She wasn't perfect but she loved us more than anything. She loved to play ball and frisbee, she lived for them. She loved to go camping and to go on walks to the park. She learned tricks so quickly, she could roll over, shake, speak, and play dead. She learned them all in about a week. Lizzy was a gentle giant, she always wanted to be a lap dog. She has put up with aggressive Jack for 9 years. While she is more than 10 times his size and could of killed him with one bite she instead chose to snuggle him in the winter and let him play the dominant dog. She was always excited to see us, gave us love when we needed it, her love was a pure and perfect unconditional love. We were not the perfect parents and sometimes it was hard, she's had a few lives. She survived eating a bottle of diet pills, several bee stings from eating them, breast cancer and a hematoma on her ear. While she has cost us thousands of hours and dollars...it was worth it.

Rest in Peace old girl. You were loved and you brought us much joy! Lizzy Dog 10/1998-4/2010

Recipes

I am always looking for a good recipe. Lately, I have been searching for things that are yummy in taste and low in calorie. A little hard to find but I have had some luck. I am going to post some recipes for Weight Watcher low point value dishes that I have made that I really enjoyed. I am working on pulling them together but will post soon, so check back soon if you are interested. Also, if you have any low calorie/low point recipes to share, that are your favorites, please email them to me at dreambig24@hotmail.com.

Surprisingly, I dont feel like I am starving myself. I am just making better choices and better portions. Last night on Biggest Loser they talked about the calories in eating out. Wow! They showed the calorie content in one creamy pasta dish was equivalent to the calories in 8 dishes of a low calorie meal. When I lived at home I never struggled with weight, actually I would of classified myself as thin and then as soon as I moved out I started packing on the pounds. I always tried to make a correlation and wondered if I had some separation anxiety or emotional reason for this happening. I don't think so. However, looking back I think there is a correlation...my grandma provided 3 square, healthy meals for me everyday and I ate them 98% of the time. Most days I ate a small breakfast (cold cereal, english muffin, bagel), packed my lunch (sandwich, chips) and then had healthy dinner and salad prepared by my grandma. The first summer that I moved away from home Travis and I lived in a tent on the beach (no kitchen in there, haha). We ate out every meal. Then college (no kitchen in the dorm), again every meal was consumed by restaurants, fast food or the college cafeteria. Even still today with our busy schedules Travis and I still eat out quite a bit. I am thinking that this is one of the biggest parts of my problem and it has to stop.

I need to pack my lunch to work everyday and maybe only eat out lunch once a week at the most. I need to plan ahead meals and dinner for my family that are easy and convenient so we aren't grabbing a quick bite after work. Restaurants are evil. Just to put it in perspective check out these numbers.

Ruby Tuesday Veggie Burger: 610 Calories
Olive Garden Tour of Italy: 1450 Calories
Applebees Half Caesar Salad: 570 Calories

Yikes! You'd think eating a veggie burger or a half salad wouldn't be so bad!

Goals

So I have been thinking about what I should do for my short term goals. I have set two!

1) To exercise for 45 minutes a day for the next 30 days.
This will be a little tough but since I have 30 segments of Biggest Loser to watch, I dont think it should be too bad. I am hoping that by doing this that exercise will be a habit for me. My thoughts are that when I return to work it should be easier to make it a regular part of my routine. I am working on lifestyle changes not fads...I need this to be a habit. I need the time to focus on myself. This will take Travis' support (watching kiddos) but I am pretty sure he will be fine with it.

2) To return to work at 200 pounds
This is ambitious but I think I can do it. I go back to work in 10 weeks. This would be 2.6 pounds per week that I would need to lose. I really have no excuses right now as I am home and can prepare meals and I have more flexibility to exercise. I know that the target is usually 2 pounds per week but I think if I really put my mind to it that I can average 2.6. I have a lot to lose and the more you have to lose, usually the easier it is to lose it.

I also decided what to do to treat myself once I have lost 10 pounds. Only a few weeks to go...so stay tuned!

Hurting

Wow..is it totally pathetic that I have been walking for 45 minutes a day at 3.0 for a whopping two days and I am actually a little sore? My quads and butt can definitely tell they have been used in a different way. It is a good thing though; means I am working them. Right? Because I am watching Biggest Loser while I walk I am actually looking forward to my workouts so I can see what will happen next on the show.

If you remember, in one of my first posts I said that I think losing weight is 90% diet and only 10% exercise. Let me just tell you how accurate that is. As I walk my 45 minutes which equates to 150 calories burned and 2.25 miles walked, it is a rude awakening. You can consume 150 calories easily in under one minute. One Krispy Kreme donut, a handful of chips is over 150 cals, consumed in a few minutes or less and it takes 45 minutes to burn them off. Ouch. Think about the frappachino that is 400 calories. We suck it down, drinking our calories, not even eating them. It would take me over 2 hours to burn those calories off and only minutes to drink it. So before you put that treat in your mouth equate how long it will take you on the treadmill. You might change you mind and choose not to eat it.

I told Travis about my blog yesterday. I hadn't told him as I was embarrassed of the number on the scale. Then I realized that he is my biggest fan, my biggest supporter and he should be included. I also decided that he is the only person that sees me naked so who cares if he knows the number on the scale, he sees me every day, all of me, every bit of it. :) Have I mentioned how much I love him. His love is unconditional for me and he always makes me feel beautiful no matter what. Sometimes I feel sorry for him. He married the prom queen and I let her go. I am excited to get her back!

Weight Watcher results: Week 1

Week one was a good week. I lost 4.5 pounds since I weighed in on Sunday with my friend. I am pretty happy with that. Since we weren't together to weigh, we took pictures with our i-phones and sent it via text to each other.

I always lose quite a bit in the first week. The hard part is that then you want to lose 4.5 pounds every week and I know that isn't realistic. My goal for next week is to lose 3 pounds. My long term goal is to lose at least 2 pounds per week but the first couple weeks your body is in shock so I want to lose 3. I had been able to eat 35 points per day, now due to my weight loss it recalculated and now I can only have 33 each day.

Well, it is 9AM, I've got church at 11 (gotta leave at 10:30) and I still have a 45 minute work-out to fit in. Can't wait to see who gets booted from biggest loser!